Tantric massage, eh? That’s just spiritual hubbub for a fancy hand job, right? If you’re like me, you’ve asked yourself this a time or two, only to lean towards an answer of “probably” before getting distracted by less interesting but more critical issues.
Fortunately, for me, my work is centered around importance of examining sex and sexuality. If I don’t understand it, I can’t help other people, so it becomes my duty to delve into these subjects. This way, I can be a sexual guiding light to those in need of such – and who isn’t in need of such?
I also really like trying new things.
I also have a boyfriend who’s totally on board with that.
Today I spoke with “Luxy Star,” a cute, pixie-like blonde who offers tantric instruction, among a variety of other services, to couples as well as individuals. Referred by a trusted male friend in the tantric community, I reached out to her partially because I was curious, partially because I want to have an erotic experience with my boyfriend, and partially because there are things he and I could work on – and maybe she could help.
After a quick conversation about my experience and intentions, our two-hour couples’ session was scheduled. I was told we’d start with some connection and breath work and then learn how to channel our energies with hands on bodies. Luxy will teach me how to touch him and vice versa. She usually takes longer with women than she does with men and since he hasn’t done yoga, or anything spiritual before, we might benefit from multiple sessions.
Her language, could be heard as vague to someone who isn’t a little tuned in and it demands that people enter into this experience with an open mind. If someone were goal oriented or wanted a particular sexual service, they may very well not be a fit. Wording is the first filter that says, “No promises or expectations. One must simply be open.” It doesn’t necessarily say we’re not going to get something, but it does ensure that we’re not the type who wants a quick fix. That’s what the Joy Luck spa with the half burnt out neon light is for.
This is no neon light spa, though. This is a residence shared by tantricas, dakinis and therapists of varying degrees of experience. Part of me is ignited by the mystery of it all and eager to be taught something new. Another part of me feels like I’m walking into the den of a sex cult. Whatever the case, respect is due. Luxy is a human being kind enough to offer a unique service that may actually teach us something valuable.
Part of the excitement for the boyfriend and myself is knowing that we’ll be having a journey together that may open our minds and hearts to new ways of feeling and connecting. Or maybe it will just leave us scratching our heads. Either way, we will have experienced something different and intimate together and that could very well be a strengthening exercise in its own right.
For information about Valerie and the dating services she offers please visit http://www.valeriebaber.com/
Having been brought up in the Bible Belt under strict Christian practices, I was taught to fear sex. I was certain that God would send me straight to Hell for it – or for anything human I did or thought about. I was still young when I recognized the hypocrisy of everything that I was brought up in, and I started to question what I was being exposed to.
A gradual move across the US took me to Hollywood by the time I was 19. I enjoyed psychology and storytelling, so the decision to be an actress seemed natural to me. However, it didn’t take long before I realized that I couldn’t live off the wages I made as an unemployed actress and underage nightclub hostess. With an incomplete college education, no work experience, and nobody to turn to for support, I had no choice but to learn how to survive.